MARRIAGE
We are very happy that you want Jesus
to be part of your marriage — and therefore your wedding ceremony!
The Sacrament of Christian Marriage is a great communal celebration which takes place within the Catholic Church and is witnessed by God, family, and friends. A wedding is a day … a marriage is a lifetime. It’s a beautiful thing to start it off with God at its center and with the support of loved ones gathered around you.
The Church encourages couples to invest time and energy into the all-important work of preparing for their married life together and seeking God’s Presence and blessing throughout the journey. (See the bottom of this page for awesome resources!)
Timeline
The Marriage preparation process should begin at least six months prior to the wedding date. You should not arrange for the reception, etc., until the date is confirmed with the church. Since marriage is an extremely important event joining two people’s lives together in the eyes of the State, and is a Sacrament of the Church, there are of course protocols to follow, forms to fill out, etc. But we have tried to organize everything you’ll need to do here and make the steps easy to follow!
Step 1: Contact Parish Office
Step 2: Meet with Clergy
Step 3: Complete Witness to love Program (WTL)
Step 4: Meet in person or via zoom with Music Director.
Step 5: Pick out Marriage Ceremony Scripture Readings.
Your First step is to contact the Parish Office. Do this by simply filling out the Preliminary Wedding Information Sheet (You can fill it out on your computer or please print clearly if doing by hand) and emailing it to our Parish Secretary Lisa at lrusso@incarnationchurch.org or drop it off at the office to start the marriage process. This form must be accompanied by a letter signed by both of you to our pastor, Fr. Eric Scanlan, giving compelling reasons why you would like to have a Catholic wedding and why you would like to marry at Incarnation Catholic Church. After receiving these, the office will contact you to begin the process of planning everything!
"There is no greater force against evil in the world than the love of a man and woman in marriage.
After the Holy Eucharist, it has a power beyond anything that we can imagine."
Forms You Will Need
The ones you can download can all be found linked at the bottom of the page in the chart under “Forms.”
Baptismal Certificate: A recently issued (within the last six months) copy of one’s Baptismal Certificate with Sacramental Notations
is required for each Catholic party. Baptized non-Catholics are asked to obtain a letter with the date, church, and place of their Baptism.
Certificate of Completion from the Witness to Love ministry.
Completed forms required by the Diocese of Venice
Marriage License issued by the State.
Wedding Reservation Agreement for finalizing date and details with Incarnation Catholic Church.
Before proceeding
* If either party was previously married, a Church decree of nullity must be attained and available to the priest. This decree is required of the Catholic and non-Catholic parties irrespective of how or where they were married. No date for the marriage can be set without this document.
* Likewise, if a former spouse is deceased, a death certificate of that spouse is required.
Planning the Wedding
“The path of holiness lived together as a couple is possible, beautiful, extraordinarily fruitful, and fundamental for the good of the family, the Church, and society.”
~ Pope St. John Paul II
Liturgical Music at Church Weddings
As soon as you secure your date, please contact our Music Director Kyle Mange to set up a time, whether in person or via zoom, to plan music for your wedding. He will help you complete your wedding music selections, retain a cantor, and confirm any other instrumentalists if you choose to add them.
Music Selections
Only Liturgical music is allowed to be played or sung at a wedding. No other form of music is permitted (modern, Broadway, movie themes, etc). Many options of classical pieces and hymns will be discussed with our Music Director, who is here to assist you and help make your wedding a beautiful ceremony!
The music that is shared in the Sacrament of Christian Marriage expresses not just the love of the couple for each other but, just as important, the love of God for them and for all His people. Since you have chosen to be married in the Catholic Church, appropriate music for this spiritual celebration must be chosen thoughtfully and in accordance with the beautiful teaching of the Church on Sacred Music in the Liturgy. Our Music Director will guide you through all of this to plan your special day!
See the chart below for frequently asked questions concerning music, and when you meet with Kyle, He will answer any other questions you have.
Marriage Ceremony Scripture Readings You will be given a book to look through to select these when you have your marriage prep sessions.
If you have a wedding coordinator who will be at the church ceremony, you must speak with our Wedding Sacristan.
Registered Member – $500
Non-Registered Member – $1,000
Marriage Preparation for a non-registered member being married at another location – $200
Our fees include:
* Use of the Church
* Priest
* Altar Servers
* Sacristan
* Use of our Bride’s Room to get ready and wait peacefully for your entrance!
Musician Fees: Our Music Director will help you decide what musicians you need when you meet with Him.
Organist/pianist: $300 – The parish Music Director meets with each couple to plan their liturgy and is the instrumentalist at their ceremony.
Cantor: $200 – A cantor will lead the congregation, sing the Responsorial Psalm and other musical pieces you select. If you have a Mass, the cantor will also lead Mass parts and hymns.
Additional Instrumentalist: $200 – If you would like additional instruments such as violin cello, or trumpet, our Music Director can secure this for you and guide you on what they can play to enhance the music at your wedding.
Outside Musicians – If you receive permission to use musicians from outside the church, they must follow parish guidelines and contact our Music Director to discuss selections. A fee of $100 is paid to our Music Director to act as a consultant to outside musicians. He is also on site to make sure sound is set up, and to take care of any technical problems that may arise during the wedding to make sure everything flows smoothly on your special day.
Baptism Certificate Request Form
Preliminary Wedding Information Sheet
Permission to Marry Form
Affidavit – Freedom to Marry Form
State of Florida – Marriage Licenses
Wedding Reservation Agreement with ICC
How can we be sure that the music we choose for our wedding will be appropriate?
Our Music Director is a valuable resource and can guide you through all aspects of choosing the music for your wedding liturgy.
Is it possible to have a friend or relative sing at our wedding?
The musical demands of a Catholic wedding liturgy are quite complex, requiring considerable expertise to be done well. Our Music Director can advise you concerning our parish policy on this matter and if/how this person can be a part of the ceremony.
We have a song which is “special” for us. May we request that it be sung at our wedding liturgy?
The wedding liturgy is concerned with the spiritual dimension of love. Songs sung at this liturgy must express not only your love for each other, but also the love of God – the source of all love. We have very talented musicians, and are happy to accommodate appropriate music. However, no secular music is allowed, and all other music must be approved by the Music Director.
Could our “special” song be sung before the wedding liturgy begins or played as prelude music?
Prelude music and songs before the wedding liturgy set the tone for the Sacrament of Christian Marriage which is about to take place. Secular music which is not permitted during the wedding liturgy would also not be permitted for prelude music.
Our “special” song was sung at my cousin’s wedding. Why can’t it be sung at ours?
While secular and popular songs have been used at times in some parishes by musicians and clergy who are unfamiliar with or simply disregard the Church’s teachings regarding Sacred Music, they have never been permitted. They are wonderful to use as you celebrate at your reception! Church guidelines do not permit the use of secular music during the Sacred Liturgy and there are beautiful reasons why the Church in Her wisdom keeps these guidelines: to lift our eyes to the Divine, maintain the reverence appropriate for the Mass, and help us focus on the things that matter most.
Is it appropriate to use other instruments besides the organ during our wedding liturgy?
Absolutely! Other instruments (such as piano, trumpet, flute, harp or guitar) are often used at wedding liturgies and can add to the musical dimension of such an important liturgy. All contracting and hiring of outside professional personnel must be arranged in collaboration with our Music Director.
May we hire another organist or musical group not associated with the parish?
Many parishes have contractual agreements and/or policies concerning the use of anyone other than their Music Director and musicians at weddings. There are many reasons for this, but it is not set in stone here. You will just need to speak with our Music Director regarding any special arrangements.
For any and all questions on music at Incarnation, simply contact our Music Director.
This is a very busy church and we have many services and events for parishioners. Because of this, the scheduled time of weddings, our property, and the reverence due the sacred space must be respected. These regulations are to ensure that, but these things are not normally an issue with our wonderful couples and families!
Wedding times on Saturdays are normally at 2PM. You will solidify this when you speak with the Church Secretary after sending in your preliminary information form.
The rehearsal is on the Friday evening before the wedding at 5PM, unless otherwise stipulated.
The Church, Sacristy, and Bride’s Room will be opened a ½ hour before the wedding. If you need more time, please let the Wedding Sacristan know so that arrangements can be made.
There is a $200 deposit required in the case of damage to our rooms and $100 of this will be retained if the ceremony starts more than 15 minutes late. After 30 minutes it is $50 per 15 minutes and at 45 minutes the priest and sacristan will determine whether there is still time to perform the ceremony. This is still a small fee to pay for opening the church, running the AC, and keeping musicians, the sacristan, and the priest waiting, but we have unfortunately found it a necessary encouragement for people to be on time.
There is plenty of parking here and we have handicapped access doors on the side of the church.
The Bride and her Bridesmaids can dress in the Bride’s Room located just to the left of the chapel. The sacristan will let you in.
NO FOOD OR DRINKS ARE ALLOWED. (There is a water dispenser in the sacristy if needed)
The Groom and Best Man wait in the library room until the ceremony begins. Depending on size of bridal party, this may be switched
If you would like your wedding coordinator/planner at the church for rehearsal and/or the wedding ceremony, please contact our wedding sacristan Cathy Jendrysik for approval and information.
Due to Fire and Insurance Regulations…
No throwing of rice, confetti, flowers, bubbles, etc. on the couple in front of or on church grounds.
No runners are allowed
No lights or candles on church pews or wherever they obstruct the flow of the celebration.
No swags that obstruct the passage through the pews.
The Groom or Best Man should give the ring(s) to the Sacristan before the ceremony, and she will place the ring(s) on the Altar to be blessed.
The Flower girl is not allowed to throw flower petals, but they can carry a basket bouquet.
We do not rent the Parish Hall for Wedding Receptions. Our facilities are reserved for Parish Ministry use only.
Photographer or Videographer
Photography and Videography in the Church and Courtyard is allowed.
The photographer has until 3:45pm to complete their shoot in the Church after the wedding. We ask that you be mindful of our Sacristans time and duties. Our Sacristan must set up for the next Mass or Service.
The pastor allows flash photography during the ceremony.
Please discuss with the couple what shots are wanted before the wedding, so that your time is efficient and you are able to get all the photos you want.
Flowers
Any floral decoration placed on the pews MUST have felt under the clamps, loose ribbon around pew end, etc. in order to protect our wooden pews. NO tape, wax, or wet flowers against pews.
One or two floral arrangements may be placed in front of the Altar (please no taller than Altar so as not to obstruct), in front of the Ambo, or in another location approved by the Sacristan Cathy. Feel free to contact her with any questions!
Resources for Couples
We have some awesome books, podcasts, and resources for
personal growth, healing, and building strong relationships
that we will be posting here soon!
“O God, who in creating the human race willed that man and wife should be one,
join, we pray, in a bond of inseparable love,
these your servants who are to be united in the covenant of Marriage,
so that, as you make their love fruitful,
they may become, by your grace, witnesses to charity itself.”
~ Opening Prayer from Nuptial Mass