MARRIAGE
We are very happy that you want Jesus
to be part of your marriage — and therefore your wedding ceremony!
The Sacrament of Christian Marriage is a great communal celebration which takes place within the Catholic Church and is witnessed by God, family, and friends. “Your wedding day, is one day, but your marriage lasts a lifetime.” It’s a beautiful thing to start it off with God at its center and with the support of loved ones gathered around you.
The Church encourages couples to invest time and energy into the all-important work of preparing for their married life together and seeking God’s Presence and blessing throughout the journey.
The Marriage preparation process should begin (8) months prior to the wedding date. Since it is an extremely important event joining two people’s lives together in the eyes of the State and of the Church, there are of course protocols to follow, forms to fill out, etc. But we have tried to organize everything you’ll need to do here and make the steps easy to follow!
Step 1: Contact Parish Office
Step 2: Meet with Clergy
Step 3: Complete Witness to love Program (WTL),
Step 4: Pick out music and submit for approval to Music Director.
Step 5: Pick out Marriage Ceremony Scripture Readings.
Your First step is to contact Dawn at the Parish Office. Do this by simply filling out the Preliminary Wedding Information Sheet (Please print clearly) and email it or drop it off at the office to start the marriage process. This form must be accompanied by a letter signed by both of you to our pastor, Fr. Eric Scanlan, giving compelling reasons why you would like to have a Catholic wedding and why you would like to marry at Incarnation Catholic Church.
Meet with Clergy
Once our Pastor approves your request for marriage, he will assign a Priest or Deacon to begin your marriage preparation process! At that point, you will be contacted via email to schedule an appointment to meet with him. This is where you’ll get all your initial information about the process of preparing for marriage and planning your wedding!
There will be two meetings. At that first meeting you will fill out a Pre-Marital Inventory questionnaire(PMI) and at the second meeting you will go over the PMI results. It’s always interesting for the couple to discuss your PMI answers with each other, and can be very enlightening and helpful for beginning your life together.
(A two-page affidavit form must be completed by two witnesses and turned in when you meet with the Priest or Deacon, so go ahead and print those out and get them to your witnesses).
At your meeting, you’ll go over how to choose a Mentor Couple to work with you in the Witness to Love Program (WTL) marriage preparation process. This had been a great blessing to countless couples and has resulted in many life-long friendships.
PLANNING THE WEDDING:
“The path of holiness lived together as a couple is possible, beautiful, extraordinarily fruitful, and fundamental for the good of the family, the Church, and society.” ~ JPII Beatification of Blessed Luigi and Maria Beltrame Quattrocchi
Liturgical Music at Church Weddings
You will find a wonderful list of common music selections here. If there are any you would like that are not on the list, simply email our Music Director for approval.
You may choose music for Preludes before Mass, Processional, Offertory, Communion, and Recessional.
Only Liturgical music is allowed. No other form of music is permitted (modern, Broadway, movie themes, etc). The music that is shared in the Sacrament of Christian Marriage expresses not just the love of the couple for each other but, just as important, the love of God for them and for all His people. Since you have chosen to be married in the Catholic Church, appropriate music for this spiritual celebration must be chosen thoughtfully and in accordance with the beautiful teaching of the Church on Sacred Music in the Liturgy.
See the chart below for frequently asked questions concerning music. In addition you may email Erin Flynn with any questions.
Marriage Ceremony Scripture Readings (You will be able to look through and select these when you meet with the Deacon)
If you have a wedding coordinator, you must notify Dawn at the Parish Office and get details from her about what role he/she is allowed within the church.
Complete Church Wedding To-Do Checklist – We’ve created this checklist in the hopes that it will be helpful to you in keeping everything organized! We pray for many blessings on you both as you prepare for this amazing Sacrament of Matrimony!
Registered Member – $800
Non-Registered Member – $1,500
Marriage Preparation for a non-registered member being married at another location – $300
Our fees include:
* Use of the Church
* Priest
* Altar Servers
* Music Director – correspond and assist wedding party with music selections and be in attendance on the wedding day
* Use of our Bride’s Room to get ready and wait patiently before the wedding.
Baptism Certificate Request Form
Preliminary Wedding Information Sheet
Permission to Marry Form
Affidavit – Freedom to Marry Form
State of Florida – Marriage Licenses
Permission Request Form for Wedding Coordinators
Complete Church Wedding To Do List
How can we be sure that the music we choose for our wedding will be appropriate?
Our Music Director is a valuable resource and can guide you through all aspects of choosing the music for your wedding liturgy.
Is it possible to have a friend or relative sing at our wedding?
The musical demands of a Catholic wedding liturgy are quite complex, requiring considerable expertise to be done well. Our Music Director can advise you concerning our parish policy on this matter and whether this person is the best choice.
We have a song which is “special” for us. May we request that it be sung at our wedding liturgy?
The wedding liturgy is concerned with the spiritual dimension of love. Songs sung at this liturgy must express not only your love for each other, but also the love of God – the source of all love.
Could our “special” song be sung before the wedding liturgy begins or played as prelude music?
Prelude music and songs before the wedding liturgy set the tone for the Sacrament of Christian Marriage which is about to take place. Secular music which is not permitted during the wedding liturgy would also not be permitted for prelude music.
Our “special” song was sung at my cousin’s wedding. Why can’t it be sung at ours?
While secular and popular songs have been used at times in some parishes by musicians and clergy who are unfamiliar with or simply disregard the Church’s teachings regarding Sacred Music, they have never been permitted. Again, Church guidelines do not permit the use of secular music during the Sacred Liturgy.
Is it appropriate to use other instruments besides the organ during our wedding liturgy?
Other instruments (such as trumpet, flute, harp or guitar) are often used at wedding liturgies and can add to the musical dimension. All contracting and hiring of outside professional personnel must be arranged in collaboration with our Music Director.
May we hire another organist or musical group not associated with the parish?
Many parishes have contractual agreements and/or policies concerning the use of anyone other than their Music Director at weddings. There are many reasons for this, so you will need to speak with our Music Director regarding any special arrangements.
Any and all Questions on Music at Incarnation must be addressed with the Music Director.
Music Director – Andi Zdrava azdrava@incarnationchurch.org
Wedding times on Saturdays are 11:00 a.m., 1:30 p.m., or 7:00 p.m. Weddings during the weekdays are available upon request. (Weekday Masses are 7:30 a.m., 8:30 a.m., 12 noon, and 5:30 p.m.; and our Saturday Masses are 7:30 a.m., 8:30 a.m., 4 p.m. and 5:30 p.m.).
The rehearsal is always the Friday evening before the wedding at 6:00 p.m., unless otherwise stipulated.
The Church, Sacristy, and Bride’s Room will be opened a ½ hour before the wedding. If you need more time, please let the Parish Secretary or the Church Sacristan know so that arrangements can be made.
Parking is available in the back of the Church, on 2nd Street, and across Fruitville Road. We have a ramp for the handicapped, on the south side of the Church inside the gate facing the back parking lot.
The Bride and her Bridesmaids can dress in the Bride’s Room located on the south side of Church, at top of the ramp, door on the left before Church side door entrance. NO FOOD OR DRINKS ARE ALLOWED.
The Groom and Best Man wait in the Sacristy until the ceremony begins.
Wedding coordinators are not allowed at the Church wedding rehearsal or wedding without approval from the pastor. If permission is given to the coordinator, they are not to interfere, interrupt, intervene or direct the wedding party or guests; they are to be seated with the guests and only If the wedding coordinator does not comply, they will be asked to leave. Permission form can be provided.
For everything to go smoothly, it is better to have the reception line in the reception hall, not in Church.
Due to Fire and Insurance Regulations…
No throwing of rice, confetti, flowers, bubbles, etc. on the couple in front of or on church grounds.
No runners are allowed
No lights or candles on church pews or wherever they obstruct the flow of the celebration.
No swags that obstruct the passage through the pews.
Under no circumstances does the Ring bearer carry the real rings. The Groom or Best Man is to give the ring(s) to the Sacristan before the ceremony, she will place the ring(s) on the Altar
The Flower girl is not allowed to throw flower petals. They can carry a basket bouquet.
We do not rent the Parish Hall for Wedding Receptions. Our facilities are reserved for Parish Ministry use only.
Photographer or Videographer
Photography and Videography in the Church and Courtyard is allowed.
The photographer has 45 minutes to complete their shoot in the Church after the wedding. We ask that you be mindful of our Sacristans time and duties. Our Sacristan must set up for the next Mass or Service.
The pastor allows flash photography during the ceremony.
Discuss with the couple what shots are wanted before the wedding, so that time is not wasted.
Flowers
Any floral decoration placed on the pews MUST have felt under the clamps, loose ribbon around pew end, etc. in order to protect our wooden pews. NO tape, wax, or wet flowers against pews.
A floral arrangement or plant may be placed on the bottom step which leads to the Altar, insofar as they do not hinder the celebrant. No flowers or plants are placed anywhere on the floor near the Altar.
Small floral arrangements or plants may be placed on either side of the Ambo.